Me, The Drug Addict.

A little conversation I had with my parents today evening

Background :
The conversation is played out in two parts. My mom was cleaning out my room today, she does this like thrice. Monthly. Seriously my mom's cleanliness drive will put Monica (from F.R.I.E.N.D.S) to shame.Anyways, M - Mom, A - Alok, D - Dad.

( Alok is on his way to the football field from the gym at roughly 8 P.M. when the phone rings)

M : Alok, where are you ?
A : On my way to play. Why?
M : Alok, what's this packet of RED HEART SHAPED PILLS (yup, you read that right) in your drawer ?
A : Mom, did you say red, heart shaped pills ?
M : Yes, and they're called 50 - 50 (just gets better, doesn't it?). I found them in your drawer.
A : Where in my drawer ?
M : In this little plastic pouch, with Benzer (that's a famous shop, in Breach Candy) written on it.
A : (Trying not to laugh)(Can you blame me, I mean little heart shaped pills ? What is this, left over candy from Valentine's Day.) Mom, I don't have any such pills stored anywhere in my drawer (and if I did, I wouldn't leave them lying around, on the day I know your gonna clean my room !!!)
M : (Slightly raised voice, never a good sign) Alok, I found these in your drawer. Where are you, can you come home right now ? What are these pills ?
A : No mom, I'm on my way to play, can't we do this after I finish playing ?
M : Why can't you come home, where exactly are you right now ?
A : Ermm...I'm somewhere between the gym and the ground, not too far off from reaching and in a small bye-lane, from where I'll reach in a few minutes, but not too far from the gym, so I can't come home. (When you can't convince, then confuse!!!)
M: Oh okay, come home soon

(End of act I, act II commences after the football game)
(I see 2 missed calls on my cell, needless to say whom they were from, so I call back)

M : Where were you ?
A : I was playing.
M : Where's your iPod ? I can't find it anywhere. (Clearly, the hidden secret of how I funded the purchase of these pills was being pondered upon.)
A : Mom, my pod is in my bag, so just relax naa.
M : Okay, come home quickly.
(I enter my house fifteen minutes later, Dad's having dinner. I am, of course, being scrutinised)
A : Hi mom. So let's see the pills. (When you're innocent, you can afford to be cocky)
M : They're upstairs.
( We climb up the stairs, me and mom only. Mom brandishes a packet in her hand, removed from her drawer)
M : What are these ? (And lo, there they were, little heart shaped pills, with the number 50 stamped on them and coloured a particularly hideous shade of red. It was enough to make anyone think they weren't ordinary.)
A : (Cockiness quickly evaporating. I mean, strange pills in my drawer, the gravity of the situation just hit, and it hit hard.) I've never seen these in my life before.
M : Alok, they were found in your drawer.
A : I've never seen these before. (When in deep shit - deny, deny and then deny some more.)
M : Wait, I'll ask your dad.( Dad is duly summoned.)
M : (To dad) Do you know what these are ?
D : (Looks at them, and then answers, cool as a cucumber) Yes, they're some headache pills that the doctor gave me, when you were out of town. Where did you find them?

( End of Act II )

Epilogue :

As it turned out, they were some harmless headache pills, a variant of the more common aspirin. Whether the manufacturing company were love struck idiots, or just possessed a poor (read : Warped) idea of what an aspirin should look like, I cannot say. Needless to say that Mom was suitably abashed at this, and dropped the matter there. Oh, and as far as the story of the number '50' goes, that was the simplest part of all. It was just printed, as is done in some tablets, to indicate the strength of the dosage. In this case, it simply stood for 50 mg.

So there you have it, of how I was accused of being into substance abuse (which, for the record, I am not. Yet.), and of how it ended, with an embarrassed mom, an unfazed dad (the doood that he is, he's still as relaxed as if nothing ever happened) and my untarnished reputation intact (rather, it was protected from massive amounts of further tarnishing.)