The Chronicles Of Alok - The Mirror, The Ohri And The Bra.

Seems like Harry Potter's the flavor of the blogosphere (surprise, surprise). I think, I've outgrown Harry in the last few years, I will read the last book, but only to complete what I've started. Not that there's much to read anyways, since Mumbai Mirror took it upon themselves to f*&k it up for everyone. Seriously Mirror, GO RAPE YOUR MOTHERS, YOU INCESTUOUS SLUTS. YOU FUCKING WHORES ARE GOING TO BURN IN HELL AND THEN YOUR INTESTINES ARE GOING TO BE FORCE FED TO YOU. HOPEFULLY, YOU'LL WALLOW IN SHIT AND EAT CRAP. I hate tabloid journalism.
The Revenge Of The Ohri - Imagine, it's the beginning of the weekend. You've set yourself up for a Prison Break Marathon. No breaks in between, just the way you like it. The drinks are cold and the grub is hot. The ice cream is chilling in the fridge and 11 episodes of prison break are queued for playback. Can existence be any more blissful? Suddenly after the end of the 5th episode, you feel like you've just crashed into another parallel existence. The actors, the music, the set and the main plot is all the same but it's all disoriented, disjointed. Dazed and confused, you review your play list, only to discover that the 6th episode was sneakily not given to you. Oh well, you accept that life's given you one of it's legendary kick on the balls and sit back and immerse the remaining weekend into the comfort of your life saver, the PS2.
It seems college, while providing plenty of fodder for the mundane, has a stunting effect on my creativity. I guess that's just the definition of an engineering college. Oh well, only one more year and the worst mistake of my life will blow by, sweet!!
Went and saw Zodiac the other day. It was a decent movie, certainly doesn't deserve a 8/10. It's horrendously long and indecently boring, but as far as a historical portrayal of a still at large, now defunct, criminal goes, it's highly watchable.
Just read today that the humble bra is celebrating it's centenary. We all know how important it is to the fairer sex, what with all the push up and the padding bra, then the ever comfy sports bra and the required strapless or transparent one to go along with that little black dress. All said and done however, kudos to the bra for occupying such a prominent place in the male mental constitution. Since, we were kids the bra was THE piece of clothing. I guess it's the one thing that women wear exclusively. Also, it covers the most beautiful and womanly part of her anatomy, and as kids, boy oh boy, the bra was special. A hidden fascination about it is also nurtured by the fact that it's got so many forms. There's the sports bra, the push-up bra, the transparent bra and lingerie etc. Also there's just so many sizes which chicks refer to, but which to us are just hidden codes. I mean, who the hell knows the difference between 24B and a 36A and all the millions of permutations and combinations that abound. The bra is a cultural icon too, what with such legendary songs alluding to it, such as "Choli Ke Peeche Kya Hain" (I know that "Choli" means blouse, but trust me, that's not how it was understood) etc. It's genuinely hard to think of a piece of everyday clothing in history that has fascinated the male sex so much. Ironically, all us guys seem to be desperate to reach that one piece of clothing, but most lack the know-how to open it with one hand. I mean, you would think that after so much preparation to reach the aforementioned piece of clothing, one would have spent time on studying how to unlock it. Anyways, most chicks make too much of a deal out of the entire "open-it-with-one-hand-and-don't-fumble-around" issue. So here's to the bra, the single most fascinating piece of clothing, an item which has, is and always will be occupying a prominent position on the female body and the male mind.
That's about all from here. Thanks for reading. Cheers.

My Readers Are Awesome

Right, first and foremost, a big legendary thank you to all who helped me with getting my hands on Prison Break. Special mention here to Raghav with whose help I actually landed the sitcom, though after our first conversation he must think I am a certifiable loony. Let's just say the conversation was so short and abrupt it made a lemon law scenario look like an eternity. More on that someday.

Also, I should warn you that I am currently experiencing a rather severe case of blogger's block. So though I will churn out posts with regularity, do not expect anything above par. However, I will keep on writing, not only for it's therapeutic effects, but since I believe that this is the best way to get over my current condition.

It seems that I have destroyed a personal view that I had about myself. See, in the past I was intensely proud about the fact that I could traverse the net and find anything. I regularly used to delude myself by saying that if it's on the net, then I can find it. To be fair, in the past I have never failed in the pursuit of anything online. A combination of google, net junkies and other factors have all conspired to enable me to find anything. However, it seems that for the first time, I've been stumped. I can't find out if there is any DC++ hub in Bandra (West). I've searched high and low to find a hub, while being tormented by my friends in Mulund, Thane, Powai etc. about the joys of a DC++ hub. In the end, even they admitted ignorance on a hub in Bandra and I was forced to accept defeat. So I was hoping that some one out there will be angelic enough to help me find out a hub in Bandra. For the uninitiated I am using Reliance (not the data card), so please please help and thanks a ton in advance. Cheers and thanks for reading.

Back To The Daily Grind.....Legendary

Well, college is back on, and it felt good for a couple of days to be back in the hustle and bustle that only 1680+ excited, confused, dazed, angry and (this is the perfect engineering student adjective) disillusioned students can create. Also, as is usual, am already dead bored of it. Apologies for the late update, the http had turned it's back on me, and was of the information superhighway (Author deserves to be shot for using such a cliched word) for a while. However, the good souls at Reliance Communications have restored order and all is good. The kick in the nuts, however, is that I have done nothing blog-worthy (Is that even a word? But thanks Sneha, for expanding my vocabulary) in the past few days. I did meet a co-blogger for the first time, will hopefully meet one more soon and saw copious amounts of "How I Met Your Mother". Capital sitcom that one, highly recommended and a break from intense stuff like Heroes et all. Also, if you do happen to catch it, you'll probably understand a lot of the terminology that, owing to degradation of my writing skills, will appear in future posts. So net hi-five (Okaaaay, so you can shut this window right now, I swear I won't blame you). Well thats all from this end. Also, if anyone can loan me the entire seasons of "Prison Break" and "Life As We Know It", then bored Alok will be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading. Cheers

Fate, A.K.A. The Pharaoh Holding A Dead Rat

Right, so 1370 in G.R.E. That's not half bad, especially as compared to my morbid expectations in the previous post. The theory that easier G.R.E. papers are set on American Independence Day is a runaway success, at least in my eyes. By the way, I should tell you that the title of this post has absolutely no connection with the matter written here. I just had to put it so as to show everyone what a certain reader has thought of my cavalier effort to portray Fate graphically in my previous post (Just wait till you pick up a pencil/brush dude, I'll be right over your shoulder). Needless to say, it had me laughing over the past few days. Personally, I think that being an Arsenal fan, he just lacks the necessary insight to understand. I mean, what can you say about a team that passes the ball 20 times in the penalty box and still doesn't score. To worsen matters their deluded fans often label it as beautiful football, forgetting to see that it's about as effective as a lace handkerchief in a rainstorm. Wake up fellas, the beauty of football is in it's effectiveness. At the end of the day, you gotta get a job done, period. Finally, as this post has meandered from being a G.R.E. score update, to the latest humorous review on my artwork and finally to arsenal-hating, I'll sign off with a few of my favourite "I Hate Arsenal" chants :

My old man said be a Arsenal fan,

I said "Fuck off, you're a cunt"

We took the North Bank in half a minute,

We took the the Shed with the Chelsea in it,

We Hammered the Hammers,

With carving knifes and spanners,

So I'll never be a Gunner,

Cos every cunts a runner,

That's what I told my old man.

If I had the wings of a sparrow,

If I had the arse of a crow,

I'd fly over Arsenal Tomorrow,

And shit on the bastards below, below,

Shit on the bastards below.

There's only one Arsene Wenger,

Only one Arsene Wenger,

With a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile,

Wenger is a fucking peadophile.

There's only one Sol Campbell,

There's only one Sol Campbell,

With a packet of sweets and a cheeky grin,

Campbell likes bollocks on the chin.

Vieira, whoa-ohhh

Vieira, whoa-ohhh

He wants to leave the scum,

Cos Campbell wants his bum.

Cheers and thanks for reading.

As You Sow....So Shall You Reap

Right, so I am screwed. Got to give my G.R.E at nine in the morning tomorrow, and haven't done anything. People complete the 30 boxes of words 3 times over, I've done the first 18 boxes once so far. Anyways, am way too apprehensive to write, so I think I'll just crash early (Yup it's actually 10:30, that's gotta be a record of sorts), and place all my hope in the one hope that I had envisioned when I selected my G.R.E. date, that tomorrow being American Independence Day, I may actually get an easier paper than on any other day. Anyway, on this fool's hope I'll retire now. Keep watching this space to see how badly it all went.